gracie’s blog

“bakit?” isang tanong na palagi kong nababanggit simula pa sa pagkabata ko. kadalasan napipikon na sakin ang nanay ko, kakatanong ko ng bakit. ang kulit daw ng lahi ko. at sa edad kong ito, ganun pa rin ang tanong ko. pero mas madalas, anga mga tanong ko ay walang kasagutan. eh ano ba gagawin mo pag wala kang maisagot sa sarili mong katanungan? magtatanong ka ba sa iba? ang tanong (na naman!) ay maaari mo rin bang itanong sa kanila ang iyong tanong? dumadami na tuloy ang katanungan mo. lalong sasakit ang ulo mo. pwede ding uupo na lang ako sa ilalim ng puno sa bukid at maghihintay na bumagsak ang bayabas sa ulo ko. parang si newton. at bigla kang magkaron ng epiphany (ano nga sa tagalog ‘to?!) sa mga bagay bagay.

pagod na ako kaiisip sa mga tanong kong walang kasagutan. sa mga pangyayaring di ko maaaring pigilan. kung saan ako dalhin ng ihip ng hangin, dun na lang ako pupunta. di na manlalaban, di na mag iisip. para que pa? eh pagdating naman sa kahuli hulihan, mag isa ka pa rin namang tatahakin ang buhay. lahat ng suliranin mo, lahat ng mga pasanin mo sa buhay ikaw at ikaw rin lang ang magdadala. kung aasa ka sa iba, madagdagan lang ang listahan mo ng mga taong nagpasakit sa puso mo. di na lang.

ano na ba ang sinasabi ko?! wala na yatang saysay. alas sais na kasi ng umaga, di pa rin ako makatulog. matutulog pa kaya ako? o lalabas muna para sumimoy ng sariwang hangin? tama. dun sa aking paboritong lugar sa dalampasigan ng heishijiao ihihinga ko ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko. isusulat sa tubig sa pag aasang mawawala silang lahat na parang bula…

it is such a sad day for me. not just because i have this excruciating migraine as i write post because of the way things have progressed here. i will not be able to share it (too personal to post anyways) but i’d rather share this lovely article that can hopefully make people rethink the way they live and probably make things a lot better for most of us.

Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70’s and 80’s -
could write something so very eloquent…and so very appropriate.

A wonderful Message by George Carlin :

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend
more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses
and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more
degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts,
yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much , and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to
life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered
outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not
better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days
of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These
are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share
this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the
precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

here i came to the very edge,
where nothing at all needs saying,
everything is absorbed through weather and the sea,
and the moon swam back,
its rays all silvered,
and time and again the darkness would be broken
by the crash of a wave,
and every day on the balcony of the sea,
wings open, fire is born,
and everything is blue again like morning.